Dr. Venus Nicolino: Straight Talk for Lovers in Time For Valentine’s Day

Roses are red — Here’s Dr. Venus Nicolino, and her tea is scalding hot!

In an era where dating apps and meaningless hookups are plentiful, relationship expert and “The Tea With Dr. V” podcast creator Dr. Venus Nicolino wants starry-eyed lovers to really throw their back into it this Valentine’s Day. And, not surprisingly, it’s not all about the de rigueur red roses and assorted chocolates. If you want real, red-hot romance, you’ll want to abandon the cliches and tune out what mainstream media suggests you should do. To her credit, Nicolino knows a thing or two about love and healthy relationships. The doctor of clinical psychology, bestselling author, mental health advocate, and owner of the mental health app SoundMind has been blissfully wed for more than two decades.

Read on for her top three tips on how to make this V-Day one to remember.

Dr. V Says Stop Thinking of Valentine’s Day Like a Commercialized Holiday

That tradition of dashing to the drugstore to find the perfect card for your dearest? Well, that started long, long ago, albeit in a far more rudimentary way, with a quill and paper. In fact, the oldest known Valentine’s Day card dates back 226 years. “Did you know that the first printed Valentine’s Day card came in 1797?” Dr. V asked her 125,000 TikTok followers. “Since then, Valentine’s Day seems like just another commercialized holiday, no?” To that end, experts predict that Valentine’s Day spending will be at an all-time high of $26 billion, up from $22 billion in 2021 and $23 billion in 2022. “I used to think that, too, but then I thought: Is it ever wrong to celebrate love? OK, almost 22 billion is a lot. But if it takes a holiday to remind us to celebrate, and love each other, I’ll take it,” Dr. V stated.

Seeing Red Hearts, Saving Green

Cupid might call you cheap, but instead, Dr. V urged lovers to rethink emptying their wallets on V-Day. “You don’t have to spend a dime to make someone aware of what’s in your heart,” she shared. “Pour it out in a love letter. Take a day off from work and spend your time with them.” Or, be cheekier. “Enhance that thing they like best in bed — or the kitchen,” she tipped. “It could be dinner, too,” she hinted.

Make Every Day Valentine’s Day, Says Dr. Venus Nicolino

Keeping that red-hot lovin’ going 365 days a year may seem exhausting, but Dr. Venus Nicolino says couples should indeed carpe the diem every day of their relationships. “Let’s see if we can create a future where the people we care about are the only reminder we need to celebrate love every day,” she added.

Perhaps that means a nice glass of malbec poured for your sweetie as she walks through the door, or a Post-it note with a sweet message on a mirror. Maybe, just maybe, you two put down the phones, head to a bar, and connect for an old-fashioned date night just like Dr. V recalls she did with her husband when they met nearly 25 years ago. “It was a time when you met people in bars,” she admitted during her recent podcast. “We were in New York City together, it was a time when you’d meet people just walking down the street. We called each other. I’m not a device person.”

Already, it seems Dr. V’s followers are taking her advice to heart.

“I saw someone call it Validation Day,” shared one. “My man took the day off [from work].”

“Every dinner with my wife is a Valentine’s [Day] dinner,” wrote another TikToker. “I wrote her a poem and cooked dinner.”

Single For V-Day? Don’t Despair, Says Dr. Venus Nicolino — Just Get Back to Basics

“As Valentine’s Day approaches, what I see more and more in my office is this false marker of time, and this bulls–t holiday, people feel overwhelmed that they don’t have someone in their life and they’re struggling with that,” Dr. V dished on the “Unpause Your Life” podcast. “Or they find themselves on these dating apps. Or, more importantly, they don’t really know how to date. They don’t really know how to have a relationship.”

Call it a catch-22 for the corazón. Despite the ubiquitousness and connectedness of technology and an endless sea of dating apps, many complain it’s harder than ever to meet a mate. Others lament that love, once found, is painfully short-lived, a series of texts that eventually peter out.

Dr. Venus Nicolino says there’s only one way to break the cycle

“I think one of the biggest things I have to say is: Stop texting. Just stop. Having your relationship’s big conversations through text is like trying to fly a helicopter to the moon. You just can’t do it. It’s not built for that kind of work. So much of what we’re doing is over our phone.” If you’re going to use it, use it well, she says. “What’s interesting is that, it’s so obvious after I say it: ‘Well, did you think about calling her?’

“It causes so many problems that it is beyond what is comprehensible to me. Just pick up the phone. Stop texting. There are times when I’m finding myself almost pushing clients to take that step. What is so scary about picking up the phone?”

When cupid is calling, you’d better answer. It could mean the difference between a love that lasts a lifetime, and flickering flame after flickering flame.

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Tags: Dr. Venus Nicolino, Valentine's Day

About the Author

Dr. Jerry Doby Editor-in-Chief of The Hype Magazine, Media and SEO Consultant, Journalist, Ph.D. and retired combat vet. 2023 recipient of The President's Lifetime Achievement Award. Partner at THM Media Group. Member of the U.S. Department of Arts and Culture, the United States Press Agency and ForbesBLK.