3 Ways to Redeem a Broken Family

By Calvin T. Mann

There are many reasons that people are under stress in our homes. One of the main reasons is that we have a great deal of brokenness. Brokenness shows up most commonly when there is an absence of healthy fathers in the home. It shows up when there is no peace (arguments, domestic violence, judgment, substance abuse, unaddressed mental health concerns, lack of God’s presence and statutes). And it also shows up where there is a low level of self-love. There are many times when families have bad experiences (sometimes resulting from our brokenness) and fall apart. Some of them may even include infidelity, death and the influence of money. It’s not often a family stays together after these three experiences but death (accidental, from suicide, and/or illness) creates a distance in relationships that requires real and immediate help.

By redeeming our families, we invest in resources and solutions to reclaim that which was lost. Often, it is the love and belief that things will get better when we do what is needed to make it better. Here are some pointers you can use to improve the chance of redeeming your family. We know that sometimes redemption is not easy. So, I hope you will understand it takes work, a relationship with your Higher Power (God) and your mental toughness as they all will be challenged at some point.

Start by forgiving yourself. Recognizing that sometimes our decisions, actions and attitude may have come from a lack of information, resources and/or applying it wholeheartedly. Next, move into a place inside of you where you can recognize your brokenness, heal and get better. No one can beat you up quite like yourself. Forgiving yourself brings up confidence and causes your endorphins rise. Endorphins are the “feel good” chemicals in our bodies that let us know that what we are thinking and doing positively is working. We all have made mistakes with some of them hard to overcome but if you take this step many will see how this alone changes you.

Self-love may have been a missing ingredient when you made the past mistakes. So, by learning right now to forgiving yourself and find reasons to love yourself everyday you can begin to rebuild your value. This type of rebuilding takes real work. Loving yourself, because you know who you in your relationship with God, maybe one of the best equalizers there is! So often in today’s environment many speaks negatively of God’s love for us. But remember this, you don’t question whether the air is going to be there for you, so why question if God will? You can improve your relationship with yourself and God quickly through your fasting and prayer life. Both are vital.

Finally, seek help from counseling and mental health practitioners who works with both individuals and family. Believe me when you are fighting to redeem yourself and your family always have a family doctor close by! Just like a regular medical doctor schedule them into your life. It is worth it to get professionals involved. In some cases, this could might be the only obstacle keeping you and your family from redemption. A therapist or counselor can help you get back to healthy ways, situation and tools that save your relationship and your children. To many of us do not share anyway about our emotions and that can be very dangerous and lethal. Consider the statistics found at www.jech.bmj.com, “Divorce men were over 8 times more likely to commit suicide than divorced women, after considering other factors that have been reported to contribute to suicide. Divorced men still came in higher increased risks of suicide than divorced women.”

My last thoughts and solutions are to encourage you to be consistent in your approach with your family. Be honest with yourself and them. The reason is that someone (maybe your child, spouse or friend) is watching how you respond. Your change may be the difference in how quickly redemption occurs. How do I know? Because I have shared my own experience. In closing One of my favorite quotes to parent is: “Mom, Dad you can make all the money in the world but you just can’t make up time.”

Calvin T. Mann, National Encourager is President and Founder of Good Fathers Only and EMIY Inc. Calvin is available for speaking engagements. Feel free to reach out at [email protected] or visit at www.emiyworld.com or call 313-638-3649